I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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