Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
