similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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