The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
