The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
