you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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