So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
