And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
