PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
don't judge my taste in strippers
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
