I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
