Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
