You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well I just put wine in my tea
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
