well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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