Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The Olympian is in my bed
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
