ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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