I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
