Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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