He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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