i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize