every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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