return my video game
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
