I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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