is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
