Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
