she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Houston, we have a squirter
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
