i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
