They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
