i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm both gender and math confused
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
