you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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