His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
