Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
