someone threw a dead crab at me
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
