anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
