I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we're making bets on your personal life
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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