I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize