So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My vagina is very pro this idea
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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