ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
