We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
