you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
