I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
