Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
