I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just made out with a guy for $7.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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