he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
where am i from again
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
