i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
