Are we in a gay sports bar?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
one might say we're banned from that church
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
