Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize