Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
