Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
