We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
