You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
