How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So vagazzling was a success
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