she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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