did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
