so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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