forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
