Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
