I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
