well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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