How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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