come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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