I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
