This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
