considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize