She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
