just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
