I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize