there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
