Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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