Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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