Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
