Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
This gyro tastes like lonliness
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
