As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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