Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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