Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
