I'm lost and stupid without you.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
