My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize