textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
