so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's shark week go big or go home
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
