hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
