For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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