I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
