Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
